GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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