hotel room ftw
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
