I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
