Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
