TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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