U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I checked into jail on foursquare
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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