saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
