Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(507): View more from Minnesota

You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone

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(904): View more from Florida

I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.

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(949): View more from California

hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk

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(510): View more from California

I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college

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(313): View more from Michigan

if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it

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(719): View more from Colorado

I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.

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(407): View more from Florida

Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?

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(226): View more from Ontario

His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice

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