i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
