Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I understand Curling. That high.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
