I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
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Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
