I wish I could punch you in the face.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
