Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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