Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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