Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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