Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
