He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
