Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
