his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
