So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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