We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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