been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
