it hurts more in the daytime
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
