Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
