I wish I could teleport
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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