she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
