Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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