I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
