i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
