apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
