You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
