Define "chronic" masturbator.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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