im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
