My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
