U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
