So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Holy sore nipples Batman
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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