just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
