And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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