I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
