I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
