pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The chlamydia really affected his face.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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