so explain again why im purple
no
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
