I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Found your dick twin last night
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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