Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Randomize
