Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
