I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
birth control should be required to get into college
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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