called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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