The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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