I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
When did angry sex become our thing?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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