Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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